Higher Ground
by Musty139
Summary: she left it all, and headed towards the light. Morgana-centric. ArMor, with some Merlin. For Secret Santa 2013.


**Author's Note:** Written for tumblr's armor secret santa 2013. prompt: fanfic - more than (or less than) 300 words, any kind of modern au. Inspired by coulbyangel's Counting.

* * *

''Don't you walk away from me, Arthur Pendragon!''

Arthur whirled around to face Morgana, halfway across her chambers. ''What more is there to say, Morgana?''

At this, she hesitated. He started toward the door again, but stopped at her frustrated sigh. ''You can't just _leave_.''

''No,'' he agreed. ''But I have to. Its my duty.''

''Duty?'' she scoffed. ''Is it your duty to die in a war you don't even believe in?''

''We've been through this, Morgana. We go through the same argument every time I come home. How many times must we walk in the same circles?'' he sighed, shifting from the doorway.

''Until you stay.'' She said, defiantly.

''But you know I can't!'' he resisted, already knowing the direction this conversation would go.

''Arthur, please!'' she insisted, striding towards him.

He continued, running a hand through his now short hair and exhaled in annoyance. ''What's the point of hurting ourselves over and over again, with the same result?''

Suddenly, she looked angry. ''Arthur, you don't understand. This time is different, I saw-'' Her eyes flashed a bright flame, and she stopped herself.

A look of confusion swept across Arthur's face. ''What?''

''I-'' For a moment, Morgana entertained the thought of telling him all she had seen, from the start when they were children, until now when they were grown, but no less foolish. In the end, her ever-present logic won, and she reasoned it would do more harm than good. Instead, she settled on the edge of her bed and repeated, ''Stay. Nobody wants you to go. You've been gone too long already.'' She paused. ''Merlin misses you, although he'll never admit it. Gwen's been keeping him company lately, but I can tell he still wants his roommate back.'' She stopped again, hoping to draw out a reaction. ''I think Lancelot would rather you come back to Merlin, so _he_ can have Gwen back!'' He chuckled lightly beside her, and even Morgana found herself cracking a small smile. ''Even Uther wants his son back.''

Arthur considered her for a moment. ''And you, Morgana, what do you want?''

She faltered. ''Don't leave. Wait a bit longer, just not now.''

''Why?'' he asked, in irritation. ''Why not now? This is my final go; after this, I'll be back for good! Isn't that what you want?''

''There are things you don't know, Arthur-''

''Then why don't you tell me?'' he asked, leaning closer.

She turned her head and stared out of her bedside window. ''There are things that no one knows, things that could change everything and anything.''

He followed her line of sight. ''They might change for the better, then.''

He watched as her mouth formed a small, cynical smile that brought the light out of her eyes, before she replied, ''Or for worse.'' A sudden thought of her most recent nightmare came to her, and she looked hysterical for a moment before launching herself forward to cling onto his jacket collar. ''Arthur, you have to believe me; nothing stays the same forever!''

His hands immediately went to her wrists, in an attempt to pry her iron grip off of him. Seeing the look of pure terror on her face, he noted that he had never seen Morgana look like that. He had never seen her afraid of anything, which is when he realised that she was afraid _for_ him. Morgana was afraid for _him. _This revelation left him slightly dizzy, and he reached up and turned Morgana to face him. ''Morgana, look at me.''

Her gaze stayed down. Arthur gripped her shoulders and dipped his head down to try to catch her eye. ''Morgana, you know as well as I do that this can't be avoided.'' Morgana sat calmer than before, and the fight had almost completely burned out of her eyes. Arthur went on excitedly, ''But just think; in a few months I'll be back, I'll be _yours_, forever. We can go back to how things were before, to Avalon. We're already so close to the end, what's the sense in stopping now?''

''Because you might not come back.'' She whispered harshly, partly to herself.

His voice softened. ''Morgana, -''

''No.'' she sighed, looking tired.

Arthur tried again. ''Morgana, I _will_ come back, I pro-''

''No.'' she said, standing. _No, you won't._

After a moment of silent deliberation, a servant came bustling in, and exclaimed breathlessly, ''Mr Pendragon, your flight departs in one hour. We must leave now if you wish to make it.'' He paused to catch his breath, and his eyes flitted from Arthur to Morgana and back, as if having only then noticed the sombre mood in the room. Cautiously, he asked, ''Will the Lady Morgana be accompanying you, today?''

Arthur looked at Morgana hesitantly. ''Y-yes.'' He cleared his throat, ''Yes. Of course. Bring my bags to the car, we will be right down.''

The servant nodded briefly, and hurried out. Arthur turned to Morgana. ''Shall we?''

* * *

Morgana sat on the edge of the cliff, overlooking the sea where she had spent many a summer as a child, and many a breakdown as an adult. She sat quietly, alone with herself and her thoughts, the wind blowing softly in her hair, and the salt stinging her eyes.

''How long are you going to sit there?'' a voice asked, from behind her.

At her silence, Merlin dropped down beside her, swinging his legs over the edge. ''You've stopped coming over.'' He frowned. ''Its as if one day you just…'' he scoured for the right word, ''…gave up.''

Morgana looked down, but stayed silent. Merlin kept his gaze firmly on the water's rippling surface. ''Its not your fault, you know. Arthur had a mind of his own, but he lov-''

''I know.'' She interrupted quickly, her voice no louder than a hushed whisper.

For a minute, Merlin considered reaching out to comfort her, but decided against it and clasped his hands together instead. ''Did he know about you and I, our ma-powers?'' he hesitated, unsure if Morgana had ever been able to see past the darkness. Slowly, she shook her head. ''I never told him. But I came pretty close the day he left.'' Her eyes never left her lap. ''I wanted to, so much. Too much.''

Merlin looked at her. ''He wouldn't have cared. It wouldn't have changed how he felt, Morgana.''

Morgana laughed darkly. ''Then why didn't you tell him?''

Merlin swung his legs back and forth, hitting the cliff each time they came back, making a dull, consistent thud. ''I was going to. When he came back, that is. I thought it would be a good time, a new beginning.'' He glared sourly at the sea, and bit his lip. A mournful silence settled in, like a blanket laced with regret and a fitting bitterness. Morgana fidgeted and played with her fingers, cracking them, and driving her knuckles into the rocks. Finally, she said, ''I was scared, Merlin.'' At this, he raised his head and turned to face her. ''I was scared he wouldn't believe me. After all, he didn't care enough to stay, and-''

''He did. He did and you know it.'' Merlin turned on her, angrily. ''You're not being fair, Morgana. He would have done anything for you. Hell, he would have jumped off this cliff for you!''

She flinched visibly, but felt too drained to fight back. Merlin sighed, and pulled Morgana in, resting his head on top of hers. ''I'm sorry. I guess I just, _we_ just needed to get that out, huh?'' he offered a small chuckle. Morgana let out a half-sob, half-laugh and buried her face into the crook of his elbow. Merlin shifted, and stroked Morgana's messy hair subconsciously. ''Now what?''

Morgana sat up, and rested her head lightly on his shoulder, giving him a dazed look. Moving to wipe his face in his hands, he muttered, ''Now what? Now what do we do with the rest of our tragic existences?''

For the first time in what felt like centuries, Morgana smiled. A definite, dimpled smile, her eyes crinkled with anticipation, and something akin to relief. ''Now, we go to Avalon.''


End file.
